October 23, 2019

The Solo Bar Tour Series: Part I

FILED IN: Lifestyle

The other night I put on a new outfit and was really feelin’ it. The makeup, the hair, the blouse, the heels— it was all working. It would have been so cute for a date night, but (sadly) that wasn’t an option.

Instead, I had plans to meet my family downtown for dinner. I was excited to take the new ‘fit out for a night on the town nonetheless. I knew the night would be short-lived— my parents aren’t really the bar-hopping type and my roommate had plans. So that’s when I decided I was going to go out by myself afterwards. The outfit was too good to just eat dinner and go home. It deserved to be taken out, ya know?

I used to travel a lot for work, so eating or getting a cocktail at the bar by myself isn’t foreign to me. I actually enjoy it. That said, I’ve never been out out by myself.

My thought was that by going out and sitting at the bar(s) by myself, I’d really open myself up to the possibility of people (men) approaching me. Thus, the solo bar tour series was born.

Here’s what happened.

After dinner I went to a swanky fondue restaurant that’s famous for their yummy cocktails. While I enjoyed my strawberry and rose martini, picking that bar was my first mistake. Since it’s a nice restaurant, there were a plethora of families and couples. Basically, no one that was of any interest to me. I finished my cocktail and moved on.

I have to preface: I am not a night owl. I generally despise going out to the bars beyond 9pm, and without friends there to persuade me to stay out, I was fading fast. But I forced myself to stop by one more bar that I knew would have a more lively crowd. Mostly because the outfit deserved to be seen by people my age.

I sat at the bar with my skinny margarita. At this place, I did have a few guys come up and chat with me. One of which happened to be the cousin of a friend from high school (small world). However, none of said guys were actual romantic prospects. At this point I was tired, buzzed, and losing steam (my mojo). It was time to call it. Defeated, I finished my drink and called myself an Uber home.

True, nothing noteworthy came out of this experiment. But I am so damn proud of myself for getting dressed up and taking myself out for drinks. I will continue to fearlessly and unapologetically put myself out there, even if that means a $50 bar tab for one. All that to say, this won’t be my last solo trip to the bar. Next time I think I’ll try a happy hour in San Francisco where there are more options (both bars and men).

This blog post is equal parts random and ridiculous, but it’s an experiment I’m committed to trying. Once a month I will get dressed up, go grab a drink or two sans friends, be social, and put myself out there to meet new people. Obviously, best case scenario is that I meet someone worth dating (worst case scenario: I get to try new bars in the area), but my expectations are low. It’s just something new and fun that I’m trying. And I’m taking you along for the ride.

Welcome to The Ocean Minded solo bar tour series. Are you into it?

xx, jordan


  1. Cassie Vanover says:

    I loved this post! I began reading while watching ‘this is us’ and had to pause my episode to finish your blog ???? proud of you for getting out there! If you are feeling a friends night out to the bars in the city I’d love to join! Smugglers cove is amazing if you haven’t tried it yet.

    • theoceanmindedblog@gmail.com says:

      Thank you, Cass ❤️ I’d love to do a friends night out in the city.

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