In an effort to put myself out there this year, I’m saying “yes.” Yes to more first dates I may not necessarily want to go on, yes to being more social, yes to different workout groups, yes to new dating apps, and yes to new friends. Basically, I want to make sure that I am opening myself up to the possibility of meeting someone at any given time. Last year I was testing the waters and was trying to navigate dating at 28 without putting in much effort. And here I am, still single. So we’re trying something new.
Here are 10 resolutions for your dating life in 2019.
1) Don’t judge a book by its cover. Last year I matched with a guy who I didn’t think was that cute in his photos. I was underwhelmed, and ended up dreading the first date. He ended up being super attractive and great in person, and we dated for three months. The lesson: don’t judge someone solely by their profile photos, give them a chance.
2) Don’t be afraid to be upfront about what you want. I totally failed at this in 2018, and ended up wasting my time. This year I will go into any relationship open and honest about what I’m looking for: a husband.
3) Always remember your self worth. Dating can be discouraging, so remembering your self worth is important. In 2019, respecting myself and protecting my self worth will be always be my priority.
4) Vow to be more social. I. Am. The. Worst. At. This. Admittedly, I bail on 60% of every social outing I commit to. In 2019, I am going to stop making excuses and get out of the house with my friends– you never know who you’re going to meet.
5) Say yes to first dates. This is where I’ve been thriving. Recently, I got my mojo back, and have been agreeing to first dates left and right. The more people you meet, the closer you are to meeting the one (right?).
6) Don’t cling on to the idea of someone who isn’t interested. The producers of He’s Just Not That Into You were really on to something. If he likes you, he is going to make time to see and get to know you. If he doesn’t, thank you, next.
7) Go after what you want and ditch the games. While I am a big believer in chivalry and being pursued, it’s 20-freaking-19. Time to shoot your shot and go after what you want. I can’t tell you how many times I have caught myself overthinking a conversation or lack thereof. In 2019, I’m done with the games. If I like you, I’m not waiting the obligatory three days before reaching out– I’m going to tell you how I’m feeling.
8) Be yourself. My new theory is that there’s nothing you can do or say that will derail you from finding and being with your person. If he’s your guy, the one you’re really meant to be with, he’s not going to care about your Bumble opener or what you order on your first date. Be true to yourself and the rest will fall into place.
9) Stay open to the possibility, not attached to the outcome. This is something I struggle with. If I have one good date, I’m already imagining our relationship 6 months from then. In 2019, I am going to try harder to stay open to the possibility of someone new without becoming too attached to the outcome.
10) Don’t settle. This is something I need to remind myself of. Just because I want to settle down, doesn’t mean I should settle. I’d rather be single than be with the wrong one.