July 21, 2017

The Bikini Bottom Controversy

FILED IN: Fashion, Lifestyle

Year after year, bikini bottoms get smaller and smaller, and consequently women are torn between wanting to be on-trend and wanting their dads to love them (am I right?). My boyfriend and I have been arguing about this topic since we first started dating three-and-a-half years ago— he deems my skimpy bottoms as inappropriate, while I [obviously] think they’re fine. We recently got in to it again, and it got me thinking about the topic, and the opposing views on cheeky bikini bottoms. I figured it was time for me to chime in on the ongoing debate (insert eye roll emoji here).

I’m team wear-whatever-the-hell-you-want, and here’s why;

I grew up swimming competitively, so you can assume that over the course of the last 20+ years, I have seen it all in terms of swimwear. I have seen boys (and men) wear teeny-tiny speedos, chunkier women wearing bikinis a few sizes-too-small, and skinny little snakes drowning in oversized one pieces. It wasn’t weird and it certainly wasn’t sexual. It was normal.

I am very, very comfortable in a swimsuit— not because I think I have a smokin’ bikini bod (I don’t)— but because for as long as I can remember, I spent more time in a bikini or one piece than I did in actual clothes. Running around the pool deck in a bikini was second nature, it’s just what I did, instead of kicking a ball around a soccer field. Sometimes your buns hung out of your swimsuit, sometimes they didn’t— no one cared.

Now that I work in the swimwear industry, I have been to countless events where Olympic-level swimmers, well into their late-twenties, hang out (literally and figuratively) in thong bikini bottoms. I think anyone who is on or around a pool deck should just assume that they’re going to see some skin, and that comes in all shapes and sizes. It doesn’t need to be objectified or criticized. If you don’t like it, go hang out at a church.

Here’s the thing— I have a big butt, I can’t help it. I could buy a modest, full-coverage bikini bottom and there’s still a 99.9% chance that my butt will hang out— all while looking like I’m in a diaper. I am sure women with a larger cup size can relate. Should we ban women with DD’s from wearing tank tops? No. I am comfortable in my skin, and I freakin’ own it. I don’t dress for anyone other than myself, and if I want to rock a cheeky ‘kini, I’m going to do it unapologetically.

After all, they’re just butt cheeks. Everyone has them, and everyone has seen them— let me live.

xx, jordan


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